Bits and pieces of MY LIFE

Yessssss… People, after desperate pondering and doing some high level research cum critical thinking… I’ve found a perrrrfecto explanation as to why my Quantum Computing class has no gals watsoeva… (which caused me great annoyance and regrets T_T)

Well the story all began back in the 1930’s when some smarty pants named Paul Adrien Maurice Dirac (Lucasian Professorship at University of Cambridge… Woots??!) figured out a way to associate every single bloody thing in this world that is no bigger than the size of an atom by one theory which he quaintly named "QUANTUM MECHANICS" <- *Note: You must read this with ASSERTION to gain maximum Ooomph…

I digress, as I was saying, this guy made a lot of contributions to quantum mechanics, blah blah blah… And He made one major revolution in the naming of vectors. Ladies and Gentlemen, I proudly present the BRA-VECTOR…(The vector description of a bra???)

Do not ask me what a bra-vector is, but when u use it to do an inner-product wif a ket-vector, u get err… a baby??? @@" Nah, u just simply get a complex conjugate of sum shit that doesn’t mean anything unless u are a nerd… But the point is this. Legend has it that this guy had problem finishing a sentence when he was in school, not to mention finishing a word. If you put bra and ket together, u will slowly realise that bra-ket sounds like bracket, which is exactly what an inner-product is… <α|β> Coincidence?

Though another explanation is that Dirac was actually a pervert, who does try to improve the knitting technique of err… (censored) during leisure… (Note: He absolutely lurves knitting) Which have caused him to name his discovery of this form of vector and naming it after the garment which he knitted… Apparently this caused an uproar in anti-sexist movements during the 1940’s, which of course made women shun quantum mechanics as a deviant cult that worships the female undergarment as vectors and using them to do complicated calculations that is beyond comprehension. This in turn made them hate quantum mechanics, which of course caused me a great deal of annoyance and regrets as i say again… (These are just postulations…)

Although I may hate him as he is for causing me the great ordeal of not having any opposite sex in my class, I do find him interesting though. He was an electrical engineer ^^, brilliant ^^ (ahem…), considerably good-looking ^^, and also a pervert ^^… Hmm… sounds kinda familiar…

Have you ever had omens? Signs that either point to something ominous and you know that something really bad is gonna hit you hard and hit you fast? Yeah… That’s the feeling that I’m talking about, the inevitable fate of feeling bored and lousy on a Monday morning. My first week back in Singa Land and the signs are popping up, like popcorns in a popcorn machine.

1) The Tongue-Twister Lecturer:

This Lecturer’s pronunciation is so unintelligible, that speculations are rising among the students that he is the missing caveman. NUSSU together with the Singaporean National Museum, recently tried to hunt down a Neanderthal wax-model that was reported missing. Apparently, due to some unknown influence from the latest Ben Stiller movie, the model is sighted walking and alive in NUS compound.

Neanderthal do not have well-developed hypoglossal canal (??), and hence they talk in a succession of grunts and gargle’s which is similar to English. The difference is that they tend to glue their words together to form a tight-knit string which only their kind understands. There is also a tendency for them to add a "rait?" or "hwait?" to end their sentence, claimed by anthropologist to be a form of primitive method for asking a question.

*Still trying to get him on film for research work, but recent findings show that they may get violent if provoked, hence the apprehension*

2)The Innocently-Perverted Lecturer:

This is the most serious case of acting innocence while being perverted, even worse than the "innocent boy" that i know back in KL. Anyone who studies chemistry knows that electropostive elements tend to lose electrons, while the electronegative elements tend to accept electrons. Materials Engineers explain things differently though.

Apparently the atoms lose electrons or accept electrons to become "happy". We often have the common misconception that atoms tend to form the stable octet electronic configuration for stability reasons, but that is not the case. It seems that materials engineers have manage to interview the inert gases, and they found out that the octet gives an atom "pleasure".

See two atoms in action, quoted from a lecture:

Atom 1: I don’t want this (electron) because I’m not happy.

Atom 2: Give it to me! Give it to me!

Atom 1: You really want it? I don’t want it! I don’t want it!

Atom 2: Give it to me! Give it to me!

Atom 1: Yeah, I’ll give it to you!

Atom 2: Ooo…Yeah…

Atom 1 and Atom 2 then comes together "happily" and bonds "strongly".      

*This whole excerpt is quoted from a lecture. For further enquiries about this latest findings, do not question me, but grab hold of your nearest materials engineer and ask him*

So you see, the signs are all there. With one lecturer who speaks Neanderthalish while another who associates chemical bonding with sexual gratification "happiness", one can now see how "interesting" this semester is gonna be. =.=" To make things wackier, all we need now is to bring a Martian into the picture.